One Year

I have wrote this blog post in my head a hundred times.  Then I wasn't going to write it at all.  I try and keep my blog a positive space.  Most of you come here to read about yarn and what I'm making. I include some personal stuff.  Some I leave out.  Who wants to hear about negativity?  We live in a world full of negative.  

In thinking about the negative I realized there is positive in almost every negative situation.  And that's what I choose to focus on.  It's been a year since my brother's accident. Three days later he lost his life.  It was all a blur for the next few months.  Trying to recover from the death of a loved one is more than anybody would want to handle.  Then add the dynamic of trying to operate a business he ran and it becomes both overwhelming yet cathartic.  

Over the years I spent with my brother both personally and in business I learned that no matter what is going on around you - business goes on.  I snapped into business mode as soon as the accident occurred trying to do what I thought he would want. I have spent the last year doing just that. And I have learned.  The obvious is that life can change in an instant.  We all know this.  We are jolted into this reality whenever we lose a loved one.  Accidents happen.  There are things we can not control. You can't stop people from doing what they want to do even if there is some element of danger.  That would be like telling me not to knit.  You gotta do what you love.  And you have to laugh.  Even at the times where you don't think it's appropriate!  I occasionally make a comment about my brother and will make some sort of joke - people aren't sure what to think, but that's how we were.  We always found humor even in the strangest of circumstances.  

These were the last words my brother "spoke" to me.  I still have the texts.  I'm glad his last word to me was "Thanks" because I knew he always appreciated what I did.  I'm also glad we had that conversation about the boat inspection because the text before that ended in "WTF".  How's that for last words?  To be honest, his true last words after the accident to the driver who was with him before he lost consciousness were"Oh Shit".  See what I mean about a sense of humor in the strangest of times?  

I have also learned how kind people can be.  And how generous.  Generous with their time, their money, their words.  Truly amazing.  Life is different now.  Very different.  When the sadness creeps in I try and find some positive.  Because I know that's what he would do.  

P.S.  Click here to learn what my brother Michael was about.  He's the first one speaking.  And I know - we don't look anything alike!